Who Are Doulas For?
A little story time….
The other day I was finishing up a postpartum visit with one of my Belly Birth clients. Five weeks prior, she had chosen to give birth by a calm and in-control, repeat ceserean for her second child. This was almost 5 years after her first emergency ceserean, which she described to me as traumatic. Every time she talked about that first birth experience, she used words like, “terrified, alone, confused, in pain…” and beyond those words, I could feel the tension in her body as her very cells remembered and recalled the stress of that day, how it went from the best day of her life to the worst, and very, very suddenly. She felt out of the loop of the decision-making process, she felt abandoned by her provider, and possibly even by her partner, and she came home with her baby days later wondering what. just. happened. Because nothing about it made sense to her. Was her baby “in distress,” and if so, what did that even mean? Was her pelvis “too small” like an OBGYN later told her? Was the doctor just in a hurry to get her long birth over with and go home? She didn’t know. Any of it. Maybe she never will.
So fast forward to today, 5 weeks after the beautiful, peaceful birth of her second child, a precious baby girl who lights up the room with her sweet smiles and perfect tiny, wriggly toes. We sat together on the floor of her apartment, talking about babies, talking about family, talking about food, the weather, dogs, pumping, and her going back to work — you know, all the things that come to mind when you finally have a second set of hands and another grown up to talk to!
I asked her what it’s been like to have a doula this time around and she said something I wasn’t expecting. She said, “I think most people think doulas are only for the super rich, not for regular people like me.” And a little piece of my heart broke in that moment. First of all, she is anything but “regular” to me. She is absolutely an extraordinary human being and mother and wife and friend. I have grown to love her very deeply through the days and weeks of all the leaks and tears and laughter that we’ve spent together. She has told me secrets that I will hold forever. She has brought out pieces of me that I had forgotten. It has been a beautiful, mutually beneficial bond.
And second, who are doulas for? Only for the super rich? How many dollars should you have in your bank account in order to feel nurtured, empowered, and loved during some of the most vulnerable times of your entire life?
The fact is, doulas are not just for the super rich; they are for people from the entire spectrum of income levels. They are also not just for hippies or people seeking a vaginal birth. Doulas work with any birthing person, whether you are married, partnered, or rocking the single life. Whether you had a long fertility journey to get here or you got here by surprise (surprise!). Whether you want to go entirely unmedicated, get an epidural, or deliver by cesarean. There is so much happening during every type of birth, that doula support is vital in all birth situations!
Your doula will get to know you, get to know your partner, find out what your goals are, what you’re afraid of, what motivates you, and what makes you feel safe and cared for. You doula will meet with you several times during your pregnancy to provide you with tailored education and birth prep so that you can reach your own birthing goals. They’ll be with you during labor and delivery, no matter how your birth unfolds, and come back to see you a few times in the immediate postpartum time, where we will feed you, help you in your household if you want, help you with feeding your baby, debrief your birth, and so much more!
The bottom line is: Your doula spends a lot of time with you from beginning to end, forms an unbreakable bond with you, and genuinely loves who you are.
By the way, YOU can afford a doula. Silver Falls Family Support is proud to offer economic justice pricing so that you can determine your own financial ability (we don’t verify or need any documentation). We also happily accept OHP insurance for both birth and postpartum doula support. And we’re always thrilled to give capitalism a big middle finger and barter with you! Your knowledge, talents, and skills are valuable! Let us know what you got!
Doulas are for everybody. Doulas are for YOU.